Trophy Boy
by PinkBellPepper
Summary: (LuigiXMasterHand) Master Hand has grown bored of his fighters and their forced matches meant to entertain him. Now, he's seeking refuge where he can think over what could ever interest a never-aging God. Well, there might be one thing. Warning: super smutty, and unedited, with non-con and angst.


This takes place in the Smash Bros. Melee (GameCube) universe. Enjoy.

The first day's match had been between Jigglypuff and Pichu. It hadn't been anything special (with Pichu still learning how not to self-damage). There were no virtual humans watching from the stands, or the roar of a recorded audio when players went flying. Everything was eerily quiet today. The two fighting pokemon were tense as well, looking down into the stadium arena where the rest of Hand's collection sat watching. They all leaned on the seats, yawning or drooling over one another. It's not like Jigglypuff was even trying anyway.

And Master Hand…. weirdly enough, he didn't seem to care. He was floating above the screen of the pokemon stadium, ghostly under the dark ring of the sky and the light of the stadium. He hovered without the spirited curl of his fingers or the energy that always rose, restrained under the white of his glove. He looked dull today.

Luigi winced when Jigglypuff knocked Pichu completely out of the park with a yawn and good aim. Pichu lost his last life, winking like a light in the dark sky and teleporting back home. Jigglypuff kept on sleeping, never having been one for the early morning.

No one is happy in this heat, ohh, Luigi moaned silently, tipping off his green cap to wipe away the sweat gathering at his brow. His mustache quivering too, his nose unhappy with the humidity of the air and the mugginess in the back of his throat. Master Hand's mood was rather bitter today. The weather was always so obvious about it.

Speaking of the devil…

"Well, how boring that was, good job you two… things," Master Hand's voice floated in all around them, like a booming announcer. Jigglypuff hadn't woken up, and pichu wasn't anywhere in sight. Donkey Kong snapped out of his own nap with a low grunt and hit Captain in the back of the head. The ape apologized with a cheeky grin, but the racer merely leaned back into his seat, his own spirit low with the sun.

"I…" Master Hand paused, lost in thought. His finger ran like a wave and he waved at the air. "I do not feel like fighting today. Dismissed."

And like that, Luigi found himself in his own room, sitting on the floor with his legs out and his underside stinging. He carefully got up and fell onto his bed, a fairly large king with sheets the same color as the curtains - red. He took off his boots and unbuttoned his overalls, eager to go back to bed with the day now free. He could hear Mario up above him in his own room, stomping around. Peach's Castle was fairly large, but the brick walls were surprisingly easy to hear through. In the same way it was easy to 'glitch' through his own mattress. Bowser had wanted to stay with them, but Peach and Mario had been vehemently against it. He had been sent away and, last they knew, he had found a place with Donkey Kong. The castle felt empty with only three people; without the toads scurrying around or the koopas and goombas coming in from town to offer the princess foreign goods. Hell, Luigi even missed the simple things, like how real everything looked back in the mushroom kingdom, or how the walls were always firm and solid and never gave away with a pulse of static.

Realizing he was working himself into a fit, Luigi tossed his clothes away and pulled the covers sharply over his head. Sleep came blessedly fast, and as usual, without any dreams.

* * *

The next few days were… quiet. Peach and Mario spent most of their time on the roof, reading the few books the princess owned, while Mario ran around practicing his flips and kicks and punches. Luigi usually sat by Peach and read with her. There was never any use for eating. Sleep wasn't necessary, but that didn't mean it didn't feel nice and refreshing. The water that swished around the castle and the flat expanse of rolling hills behind it never changed. Just like the sun, and the clouds, and the blue in the sky. And every twelve hours, the world glitched in a blink of static. For whatever reason, no one knew.

It all moved like clockwork, and the monotony, by the end of the third day, was driving Mario to battiness. Luigi had been trying to read a novel, written by a toad who adventured out across the Mushroom Kingdom. Instead, he was distracted by fireballs leaping over his head and a pesky older brother asking him to incessantly practicing fighting with him. Luigi closed the book with a snap.

"I'm not in the mood, Mario. Why can't you use a star and go ask Bowser. He'd never say no to you."

Mario crossed his arms, more irritable than lately. "It's a' my last one, and without Hand around to give me more, I'd have no'a way of getting back."

"Oh, Mario," Peach cooed. Her white umbrella was angled over her soft face. "I'm sure Marth or Roy would be glad to see you. I know both princes to be very conservative of their stars. I'm sure they'd lend you one."

Mario smiled. It was always kind and warm, in the same way his eyes were, whenever he looked at her. Luigi sighed in quiet relief. The red plumber never turned down advice from the princess. To him, it was sage wisdom. With a "yahoo!", and a spring into the air, Mario unpocketed his warp star. It started out as a bead of yellow, then expanded into five points as a flare of light. His body was yanked from the roof of the castle and away into the fake sky with a wink. Luigi settled back into his book, he and Peach sharing a small smile.

It was good for Mario let off some steam. Even if he wouldn't admit it, he liked the fighting. So did Peach, in a way. But Luigi found it hard to smile after a success (as rare as those came for him) or clap wholeheartedly after a failure. He never could find it in him to fall into the thrill of the melee.

"Princess," Luigi asked, after several minutes of quiet reading.

"Hm? Yes, Luigi?"

"What if… do you think Master Hand got bored of us?"

Her lips turned to an 0, and she looked away, as if unsure how to answer. "What do you mean?"

"It's been days, but no tourney has been announced. He hasn't come and carried any of us away for an adventure or a classic trial. What if he got bored and just… left?"

Peach didn't answer right away. And when she did, her voice was sullen. "I'm sorry. Is it okay if we don't talk about this? I'm just-"

"No, I'm sorry for bringing it up," Luigi hurried to salvage his mistake. "I shouldn't bother you with my worries, princess. It was just a thought, that's all."

"No need to apologize," the princess said. "I've thought about it as well. I'm afraid we won't know, not today at least. Let's just enjoy each other's company and these books, while the sun is up."

"Princess, the sun is always up."

She giggled, and Luigi was a bit surprised at Peach's little joke. She was usually the naive one, and Mario and him had once worried if she was medically unable to understand what a joke was. He laughed anyway, despite himself.

"You're right," he said, already panicking mentally. "There's no need to worry today"

But what about tomorrow?

It came, and went, and then Mario came back home to the castle. There was less tension in his shoulders. From what he heard, Master Hand had yet to speak to any of the fighters. The princes had given him extra warp stars to use, and Mario had spent the last several hours giving out some surplus. A lot of fighters were undersupplied, and bored.

Even Peach was beginning to show signs boredom, and she NEVER lost her composure. Luigi spent a lot of his hours sleeping or stretching his muscles in the cool of his room. He rather liked the quiet, but his nerves (as jittery as they already were) seemed keen on spiking irrational thoughts every few hours.

Why is Master Hand silent?

What if he went to find new fighters, and make new stages, in a new universe?

What if they were stuck here forever, living, unaging, never doing anything but sitting and waiting and sitting and waiting and sitting and….

It could have been anxiety, and some slight psychosis, but Luigi hatched a plan to quell his nerves - and that involved going directly to its source. And it also involved Mario, who was in his room with Peach, drinking tea she had made from the moat just outside. It always tasted like plastic, but it was something to do.

"Luigi, it's good to see you," Peach smiled warmly and offered him a cup. He took it, just to give his hands something to do.

"Hey, bro," Mario said. "How are you a'feeling today?"

"I'm fine," Luigi waved the question off. There was no good way of answering it. "I'm just feeling the hours."

"We all are."

"I was wondering, actually… Could I use a star?"

"Luigi-" Mario was gonna say they need to keep as many as possible, just in case. Just in case, they all needed to get together. Luigi felt the lie slid off hsi tongue, only possible with the last hour of practice.

"I want to see Kirby. I'd-" he coughed into his hand. "I wanted to stay with him a few days. Make sure he's okay, and you know, he might be able to get more stars. They are his trademark."

"Well," Mario didn't seem all that surprised. "You are the only one I know who can keep that pink puff's attention for more than a few seconds, so sure. See if he can help with the situation. And bring back some apples from his a'tree."

Luigi saluted him when Mario offered up the star, his hands feeling shaky, yet grasping the item just fine. He slid it into his overall pocket and kept the smile going; just a little longer.

"Do tell Kirby I said hello," Peach said.

Luigi nodded. "Of course, princess. And Mario, I'll be back in a few days. Thank you."

"Ay, come here little brother!" Mario locked an arm around Luigi's neck and drug him in for a shake of his hat and static clinging hair. He pulled away with a laugh, still numb, still nervous, and said goodbye. He trotted down the castle halls, and reached the roof with stitled breath. The star came out, flashed like gold, and sent him hurtling off into the sky.

* * *

Final Destination was as creepy as it was beautiful. The galaxy that washed the background expanded out into a void that felt real. Real. Like the sky in the Mushroom Kingdom, or the lava in Bowser's Castle, or the shrieking laugh of a young toad. The star light and the deep violet were suspended like the platform, giving Luigi a sense of vertigo. He had stumbled off his star onto the end of the mechanical island, looking about with wide, timid eyes.

Okay, he thought, no going back… just… keep… going…

The massive expanse of space smothered his hearing and left him feeling deaf. He tested his voice, calling out with hesitance, and then a little louder when nothing happened. He seemed to be alone. His voice carried on without him, and disappeared without an echo. It drew itself out though, like putty in a child's hand.

"M-Master Hand!" Luigi yelled. "I-I've come- I've come to talk to you, please!"

The 'please' held onto his ear for a moment and faded slowly. Heavy silence weighed him down, and Luigi sagged in hopelessness. It seemed he wouldn't have to face the rather spooky creature that was a giant hand, but he also realized that without that hand, he and his family had nowhere left to go. Neither them, or the other fighters.

And… and he had no star left… Luigi's body turned to ice and he ran through his pockets. He couldn't fathom why on earth he thought the hand would be here. He had no idea why he didn't bring a plan B. Several minutes of scrambling and panicked wheezing later, he fell to his ass with a heavy sob and laid his head in his hands.

Stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid-


End file.
